Wow, don’t be me….

My chest feels light. There is some pep in my step, I guess. I had a wonderful night last night.

Although, I will admit that I probably botched a potential friendship because I’m a piece of shit and I over-fucking-share.

Can I ask this honestly? What the fuck, no seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? I can hand you a physical list of how NOT to make a friend right now, at this very moment as I think back in a fog because (shocker shocker) you just STUPIDLY took your meds too early (Xanax) because your daughter went to bed a little earlier than usual and you thought you would too. WRONG bitch, motherfucking WRONG.

God dude, there is a reason I only have one friend. I do not, and I repeat, do NOT, remember half of what the fuck I said to this grown ass woman, about my terrible shitty school experiences and how much I hate being a stay-at-home mom, while also refusing to entrust the responsibility onto another individual, that isn’t her father or my mom.

I do remember (fleetingly) telling her (and now you apparently) about how this blog is an ode to my old Tumblr blog and I said that, like, proudly? Had I been her? “Oh this bitch is fucking crazy, I’m SO super cool on that, it’s gonna be a no from me dawg, I’m out.” Yes a shoutout to Randy Jackson and that one iCarly episode where Carly’s teacher has a Randy Jackson shrine in her closet. I’m currently laughing my ass off at how RIDICULOUS that episode is in hindsight and I want to know EVERYTHING about its creation.

But yeah, no, I definitely fucked this one all the way up. I cannot stress to you how socially inept I actually am. I pretend that I can socialize and do the mingling or whatever, I fucking can’t. I absolutely am socially awkward as shit and I don’t thrive in it. It’s the art of living in denial. Jon Raymond was right.

I’m a lunatic, and whatever you do, don’t over share to the point where it’s detrimental to your potential friendship. Do not be an awkward slug like me, ugh it’s making me cringe just thinking about it.

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