What emotions do you feel most often?

The emotions I feel the most often are vast. I feel lost a lot? I just don’t know what I’m doing and where I’m going or what I want to do, and that brings me a lot of anxiety and causes me to stay stuck in limbo. I want to be a writer, I want to help people, and more specifically I want to help men. More specifically the mental health of men beause I believe it to be an epidemic, and other medical professionals in the mental health sector that are also men have been ringing the alarm bells for years. It puts me in a quandry because I’m not sure how willing men are to actually take advice on their mental health from a woman. I feel depressed a lot of the time. This blog was really meant to alleviate a lot of the uselessness I feel. I also feel as if I have a lot of useful knowledge that could potentially have a positive effect on the world and I don’t know what to do with it all. I feel happiness and contentment sometimes but not often. Today isn’t a bad day, I don’t consider it to be a rarity. My husbands friend came over right before we were preparing our daughter for bed, and that is a tricky process that involves a naked 3-year-old screaming “can’t find me” or “can’t catch me.” I failed entirely, and came into our bedroom laughing as I handed him the single pampers pull-up, indicating it was his turn to atttempt to catch her. I  sat down and his friend was sitting in the computer chair as the screams and giggles permeated our meager apartment. I couldn’t help but laugh, it’s infectious, and so did he. He commented on experiencing that unabridged joy that my daughter was having as could be heard by the screams and giggles, and it got me thinking. THOSE moments are the ones that I experience that bring me joy and happiness and contentment, They aren’t infrequent either, that’s why I become so confused when I have these terrible feelings of lonliness and anguish. Why do I feel this way? I keep faking it until I make it, and I think at some point it will have to come to fruition. At least, that’s what I’m hoping.

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