The Damaging Effects of FAS and PPD in the Womb and What Society Needs to Do About It

The two conditions that I chose to elaborate on for Child Development in college were fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) and postpartum depression (PPD). PPD occurs when a new mother experiences extreme sadness, feeling helpless, like they are not a good enough mother, everything regarding the care of a baby seems too much, feelings of guilt, and unworthiness are present 2 to 3 months after a woman has a baby. FAS is a bunch of birth defects that can be caused by a woman consuming alcohol while pregnant.

I chose these two because I feel as if people do not take these as seriously as they should especially with postpartum depression and FAS is often treated too late. It is our job as a society to make sure that these conditions are not only prevented but are properly diagnosed and the proper steps are taken to help the individual who is suffering. When PPD is present a lot of the time it’s difficult to be diagnosed because of baby blues, which is a very mild form of postpartum depression and usually goes away with time. This causes doctors to dismiss the symptoms of postpartum depression and the woman does not receive the proper treatment.

We need to start advocating for the actual seriousness of this problem. When birth hormones decrease, 8-15 percent of women experience the symptom of PPD. The new mother could even experience thoughts of suicide, drug abuse, harming her baby, or neglecting her baby. This could have a major impact on the development of a child. If postpartum depression goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed that child could end up harmed, neglected, emotionally scarred, or even worse.

FAS can cause horrible defects like abnormal facial characteristics, and stunted growth both physically and mentally. I think it’s extremely important to address this especially because we want to assume that this is a mother’s choice and won’t acknowledge that alcoholism is a disease whether the person is pregnant or not. We should be treating it as a disease. We need to be giving women better resources to find help and seek treatment and we need to have less bias in medicine, so that when these things are reported they get taken seriously and not when it’s too late

Depression is Real

Many of you know me as a bubbly, happy person. However, these past few months have been extremely difficult for me. I have been severely depressed …

Depression is Real

Who is Alan Whitcomb Now?

Walden University

 Mock Case Study for Psychology 101

Who is Allen Whitcomb Now?

Allen Whitcomb is 47-year-old man, who is married with two children is college. For the most part he has been healthy his whole life until recently he got in a bad car accident and lost his leg due to texting while driving. He claims that the car that hit him was further away and slower than it was, and he is also color blind. Since the accident he has been experiencing pain for which he takes over the counter medications and has gained 20 pounds and has trouble sleeping. He has also reported that when he hears the song that was playing during the accident his heart rate increases. His wife reports that he seeks a quiet and calm environment and is quite mean to her after he watches violent television, she describes him as quiet, tense, anxious, unfriendly, and on edge. In regard to work he has been having attendance problems, either being late or not showing up at all. His manager reports he has problems with memory and processing the new filing system that has been put in place at his job. He also seems to forget information after a few moments.

Allen’s reports can be attributed to a few topics and studies in psychology, including the central core of the brain and how behavior is affected by damage to the limbic system, sensation, association areas of the cortex, which includes memory, learning, and emotion and I will talk about these individually and discover who Allen Whitcomb is now with the information I have learned about the brain

Brain and Behavior

            When talking about the brain and how it relates to Allen’s behavior I want to talk about the central core of the brain and the main structures as most of them pertain to Allen. Starting with the medulla, which is what controls heart rate and this is the part of the brain that causes Allen’s elevated heart rate every time he hears the song that was playing during his accident. More specifically the hypothalamus because it triggers a survival response, otherwise known as “fight or flight” response. Feldman, R. (2020). This response is activated when he hears that song or similar sounding song because his body associates this with survival. Feldman, R. (2020).

            The next structure is the forebrain, and located in the forebrain is reticular formation, which determines whether or not a specific action or reaction is necessary. Feldman, R. (2020). With the information that I have, I can determine that there is damage to the forebrain that causes Allen to react when a reaction is not necessarily called for in a given situation. But the reticular formation also controls sleep and sleep patterns, Feldman, R. (2020), so this could be the reason that Allen has trouble sleeping, since he claims his sleep-wake cycle has been disrupted.


Sensation and Perception

            Sensation as it relates to Allen has everything to do with the amount of pain that he has had since his accident. Pain could be a reaction to a few different things, one being perceptual, meaning it could be a reaction to how he feels about his accident or even a thought. Feldman, R. (2020). In Allen’s case, he attributes his poor work ethic to pain while his therapist suggests it is most likely anxiety. Both could potentially be factors. Something extremely small in the grand scheme of all of Allen’s issues could cause anxiety. Feldman, R. (2020).

            Allen also claims that he is depressed and in response his therapist has suggested that he smile more. This specific request might sound unnecessary, but it does have a purpose. It is a cognitive treatment that some psychologists have been known to use and it involves reconstructing the way he may think. If he swaps his negative thoughts for positive ones, that sense of control, no matter how big or small, that does have the potential to decrease the pain he has. Feldman, R. (2020).

            Allen is also an amputee, which could explain his discomfort in the form of phantom limb pain, which can be offset through a therapy called mirror pain therapy. Feldman, R. (2020). In mirror pain therapy, mirrors are used to make it look like both limbs are intact, Feldman, R. (2020), for Allen it is his legs. This is supposed to make the brain stop sending messages that are perceived as pain to the leg that is no longer there Feldman, R. (2020). This could help Allen stop having pain and get back to work if employed properly and by the correct psychologist.

Learning and Memory

            The limbic system is actually involved with thinking and memory as well as emotions and aggression. Feldman, R. (2020). Allen has substantial damage to this part of his brain, more so, than any of the others. His boss has reported that Allen is having trouble learning the new filing system at work and that he frequently forgets things after a couple of minutes. This is caused by damage to the hippocampus, which renders him unable to remember recent events, while leaving the memories prior to the accident intact. Feldman, R. (2020). More specifically, damage to the hippocampus is especially sensitive to tasks where objects need to be linked together and placed in specific locations. Rolls ET. (2018). This could be the cause of Allen getting confused by the new filing system that has been implemented at his job, seeing as significant damage has been done to the hippocampus.

            Allen reports that his problems at work are because of pain, however, his therapist disagrees, she believes his problems at work are the cause of anxiety. This anxiety is why he now feels that he will not be good enough at work, which directly translates to why he does better work with others than he does on his own. He lacks the confidence in himself to be able to live up to the standards his job expects of him.

He has reported feeling judgement since the accident and has claimed that people look at him differently. His boss reports that he is often late or calls in sick, anxiety about feeling both judgement from others and the anxiety that he may not be able to perform well is most likely the cause of his attendance problems. Not to mention he works the night shift, and that may be why he has problems sleeping.

Motivation and Emotion

            The motivation to eat is seen as a primary drive and is controlled by the hypothalamus which regulates food intake. Feldman, R. (2020). This relates to Allen because he has gained 20 pounds since his accident which would imply that there has been some damage to this area of the brain. The hypothalamus affects the weight set point, the specific measure of weight that the body attempts to maintain, either telling the body to eat more or less to manage this weight set point. Feldman, R. (2020). Certain drugs, such as the over the counter medications that Allen takes for pain, can also be the cause of his weight gain, they can distort the weight set point, causing the hypothalamus to tell the body to increase the amount of food that is eaten. Feldman, R. (2020).  

            His manager has reported that he is currently working with Allen to resolve his attendance issues by setting attendance goals with him, Allen is working toward earning lunch for his entire team based on timely attendance. This is an example of a positive reinforcer, Feldman R. (2020).  Something is being added or given as a reward, the lunch for his team, to encourage or increase a certain behavior, timely attendance, Feldman, R. (2020). This reward should motivate Allen to be on time, and maybe increase the judgement he feels from co-workers as well.

            The amygdala, which is located in the temporal lobe of the brain, is crucial to the expression of emotions. Feldman, R. (2020). The amygdala supplies a connection to the perception of a cause of an emotion and the recollection of that cause at a later time. Feldman, R. (2020). This sequence of events applies to Allen’s accident, because he doesn’t remember the accident but remembers the song that was playing, causing him to associate that song with the accident. Because of damage to amygdala, this display of classical conditioning could also be the cause of Allen’s elevated heart rate when hearing the song, it causes him to feel stress and fear in anticipation of the accident. This could also be a symptom of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is reliving the traumatic experience, in this case his accident, either in the form of a vivid flashback or a dream, Feldman R. (2020). This flashback can be caused by something that seems irrelevant, like the song playing during the accident, but it elicits a very strong reaction in the person who is suffers from the disease. Feldman R. (2020).


            Development that is impaired or stunted in childhood can affect adulthood, Feldman, R. (2020). Nature and nurture is a common debate among developmental psychologists, because some biological factors like genetics and maturation have an effect on how people may develop later on in adulthood, while some factors that affect development in adulthood are the cause of the environment, such as how well the family functions and what the family’s SES (socioeconomic status) is. Feldman, R. (2020). For Allen, his mother always said he was not good enough. This is most likely the cause of Allen’s anxiety, as he does not want to fail and lacks confidence to even try for fear of failure. His therapist also has pointed this out to Allen as a cause of his anxiety, especially when it involves work.

            His wife has stated that Allen does not have many close friends. This can affect development in that people normally have a need for affiliation, this just means that people have a desire to make friends and keep them. Feldman, R. (2020). People who withdraw themselves from friends or do not have any, as in Allen’s case, have the potential to become depressed and experience sadness. Feldman, R. (2020). Allen has reported to his therapist that he is experiencing feelings of sadness and fatigue, which are two symptoms of depression as well. Feldman, R. (2020).


            Allen’s personality has been affected in a few ways. His wife has described him as quiet, tense, anxious and unfriendly. These are part of the neuroticism dimension in Hans Eysenck’s theory of traits. Feldman, R. (2020). Eysenck referred to the neuroticism dimension as being able to decide how stable a person’s emotions are, which in turn, allowed Eysenck to research people across all of the dimensions and gain the ability to foresee how they may behave. Feldman. R, (2020). Allen also displays low self-esteem in the work environment, low self-esteem is also a trait in the neuroticism dimension as described by Eysenck. Feldman, R. (2020).

            Allen’s wife has also reported that he watches television a lot since the accident, and after he watches violent television shows he treats her unkindly, but he seems to feel bad and is trying to stop that. This aggression, is directly correlated with the violence he sees on TV, psychologists believe that the frequency and the amount of time spent watching violent television makes them more likely to act aggressively than they normally would if they did not engage in watching violent television. Feldman, R. (2020).

Social Behavior

            Allen’s social behavior has been largely affected due to his injury, it has caused people to look at him differently and to judge his abilities based only on his disability. Allen’s attitude toward certain situations and people have also been affected. Allen thinks that all of his managers at work are unfair and overly directive. Attitudes have the potential to change our behavior toward a person or a belief, Feldman, R. (2020), in Allen’s case his attitude about his managers affects his motivation at work and his willingness to perform well. Allen has also developed an impression formation about his managers, which is how one categorizes the facts he knows about an individual, his managers, to form a generalization or impression of that individual, they are overly directive and unfair. Feldman, R. (2020). Allen has developed a schema, or an expectation about how these managers act, so that he can anticipate how he will later interact with them. Feldman, R. (2020).

Allen is especially susceptible to stereotype vulnerability, in which he is aware of how other people view disabled people. Feldman, R. (2020). Allen is directly connected to this because of the judgement he faces at work and because of his mother always saying that he is not good enough. As a result of his co-workers judging him, coupled with his mothers belief that he is not good enough, he has come to accept this belief, and actually think that they are not good enough. Since he has accepted this, he fears that he will confirm his mother’s belief, and will fail or will not even try because he is under the impression that he is not good enough and won’t be good enough regardless of the efforts he puts in. Feldman, R. (2020).

Allen may also be a victim of poor coping skills when it directly involves stress, the more times we try to beat stress could cause psychological issues that cause issues in our health to arise. Feldman, R. (2020). Allen has chosen to deal with his stress by watching television and overeating, also known as avoidant coping, where one uses a more direct path in order to cope, which has causes unhealthy habits that normally are out of character for them, Feldman, R. (2020), the weight gain and most likely the fatigue he feels is a result of his avoidant coping. The more he is exposed to stress, the more his immune system deteriorates, and causes a decrease in the ability to fight off infections or diseases. Feldman, R. (2020).

Allen could also be in the third stage of general adaptation syndrome, which is exhaustion, as is described by Hans Selye a stress theorist, who studied the consequences of long-term stress and their effects on the body. Feldman, R. (2020). During this final stage the person’s fight to overcome the cause of the stress decreases to the point where physical damage and psychological damage can start to be seen. Feldman, R. (2020). This could be the cause of Allen’s lack of focus at work and his irritability which causes him to lash out at his wife, unintentionally. His wife has suggested that Allen remain as active as possible, which is one thing that can be used to offset the damages that can cause stress, and promote healthier habits and coping mechanisms. Feldman, R. (2020).


Allen has a lot of hard work ahead of him in order to fix and cope with some of the damage that has been inflicted on him because of his car accident. He suffers from depression and anxiety that severely hinders his attendance at work, a lack of self-confidence and motivation that affects his willingness to work and work hard while ignoring the preconceived notions that his co-workers have toward him. Poor coping skills, have caused his weight gain and excessive amounts of television has made him aggressive toward his wife. He has significant damage to some of the systems in the brain, most notably the limbic system, association areas of the brain, and the hippocampus, which has caused problems with memory and learning new information related to new systems at work. Damage to the amygdala is responsible for expression of emotion, and therefore has caused his aggression. His therapist has suggested cognitive restructuring and biofeedback techniques, like mirror therapy could be applied to Allen for pain management of the amputated leg. The aggression from damage to the amygdala may imply that serious personality changes are present and it is too soon to tell if he will ever be able to restore the damage done to it. In short, proper nutrition, intensive therapy, exercise, and the proper dosage of medications are the only ways that any of this damage can start to repair and it may only repair some of it. Only time will tell what is in store for Allen Whitcomb, but we all have gained a little bit more of an understanding of who Allen Whitcomb is now as a person since his unfortunate accident.


Feldman, R. (2020). Psychology and Your Life with P.O.W.E.R. Learning (4th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Education. Rolls ET; Oxford Centre for Computational Neuroscience, Oxford, England. (2018). Cell and Tissue Research [Cell Tissue Res] 2018 Sep; Vol. 373 (3), pp. 577-604. Berlin, New York, Springer-Verlag

No Wonder Some People Have Coulrophobia

Never heard of coulrophobia? Neither did I until five minutes ago. No, it’s not a fear of Dairy Queen. Coulrophobia is a fear of clowns, and can …

No Wonder Some People Have Coulrophobia

Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.

“No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.”

Laurie Colwin

I have far too much anxiety to ever have a story even remotely close to a cooking error (a thing I love doing and consider to be a passing interest) large enough to be described as “epic.”

As far back as my memory will allow, the last major failure I remember having is trying to bake chocolate chip cookies from scratch for the cooking portion of my Life Skills class.

We often learned a step-by-step from our teacher, would take the recipe home to cook it ourselves and fill out some form on our experiences, and then we would come into class the next day and cook it with our assigned groups, and that would serve as the final test for each recipe.

The only time I have ever failed at producing something in the kitchen was when I worked on those cookies. I have NEVER been a baker and this only proved my point and solidified it in my mind. I have not attempted to bake a fuckin’ cake, muffin, cookie, pastry or pie and I can make a pie crust from scratch, up until about 2 years ago when my husband and I moved into our apartment.

But those cookies, the failure obviously has stuck with me in a significant way, and I just didn’t even try until over lockdown I couldn’t buy a cake for my daughter’s birthday and was forced to face my fear of baked goods.

I found myself face to face with the oven, probably looking like a crazy homeless just wandered in from the street and mistook the oven for a person, because, yes, I was talking to it. Well I was pleading with it really, I said something like,

“Okay look oven, I know you and I usually do NOT do baked goods, and believe me I want to do this, like I want a hole in my head; not at all. However my current situation requires that I make this cake as if Martha-fucking-Stuart herself came here and personally baked it, handed me a joint, and crashed her way out of my parking lot to go do hood shit with Snoop Dogg. So please please please please please please, PUH-LEESEEE, be good to me, please.”

I get that mumbling to your oven already seems like an action one takes when failure is imminent, but it actually (surprisingly) turned out well for me. It wasn’t burnt, was super moist and I waited for it to cool long enough that frosting and decorating the cake was the easiest part.

I will add that the process was not anxiety-free, just because I did take it out early because I started to smell the cake and I was already on high alert because our oven becomes very hot very quickly and often when you follow the directions of how long to cook a pizza, you need to shave 3 minutes off at the very least.

I was standing in the middle of the kitchen playing on my phone and waiting for the timer to go off, when the smell hit my nostrils. Fear washed over me and I immediately dashed to the oven to grab a cloth, pulled it open, and was relieved to find that the entire cake still appeared yellow and only the corners looked a little on the brown side of golden brown, and not by very much, so I did the toothpick test on the densest part of the cake and pulled that bitch out.

It had been about 10 minutes before the timer was even set to ring. I gave the oven a pat as I turned all of the knobs to their “OFF” positions, and set it out to cool. Relief and joy that the baking curse had finally been lifted. Liberated at last.

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

“[Harriet] never minded admitting she didn’t know something. So what, she thought, I could always learn.”

Louis Fitzhugh, U.S. author, Harriet the Spy (F)

A lesson I had wished I had learned earlier in my life would be

Let go, be yourself.

In hindsight, it seems obvious. Obvious that that whatever I was doing wasn’t working. Oh how much easier my existence would have been had I just had the foresight to let go of the absurd notion that there was a “right” and “wrong” way to be as a person.

How much simpler would it have been to just say,

“This is who I am, and I will not compromise my personality to fit your expectations.”

A number of circumstances come to mind.

That one time that Kaley called you “annoying” and “weird” for texting her an entire verse to a song she showed me. If I had only had the gift of hindsight I would tell my young, impressionable, and naive self that your friends aren’t required to like every single part of your personality.

Or the time that Savannah loudly proclaimed how “uncomfortable” it made her to witness a “big-hulking” black guy with a “small” white girl and how you brushed it off as if you agreed. It made me feel so small, as if white men, by design would never love me and the black men at my school I didn’t considered to be what society would deem as acceptable for a black man.

Or the time that Kaley’s mother looked at you up and down as if deciding on whether a rug would look good in her house or not. You wanted to scream at her,

“Please don’t hate me, I’m not a bad influence on your daughter I promise, despite hpw awful she treats me I look out for her.”

In the moments of scrutinization, you had hoped your eyes spoke the words you so wished you could say, but to no avail. The next time you would feel the eyes of her mother’s scrutiny wash over you in guilt at something you hadn’t done would be when Kaley decided to rip the flags off of mailboxes and was caught. The cops called your mothers and even though you hadn’t done it along with her, the questions of “why” unanswerable, and your silent indignation hiding the social suicide you just imparted upon yourself. You think,   

“Why didn’t I rip the flags off of the mailboxes, I’m such a pussy.”

Or the one time I did let go, and use the sense of humor god had given me, and I failed to realize that the liberation I was feeling in that moment was the feeling of letting go.

Victoria with her overbite, braces, and strong sense of self, showing an unwavering amount of confidence in herself gave me pause. I was of a higher social standing than her couldn’t even make myself impart the levels of humiliation I had experienced onto her.

When Meghan began to insult the bell bottoms with corduroy patches that looked like a quilt hastily thrown together, the heat of embarassment turning my cheeks pink, Victoria loudly declared, so everyone could hear,

All of these instances I should have let go, I should have just been myself. I should have taken a note out of Victoria’s playbook, and learned the lesson of authenticity that had eluded me for so long.

“I happen to LIKE your jeans Madelyn, they’re cute.”

I thought on my feet, grateful for the “out” she had just so graciously given to me and hoping I could convey a “thanks” as discreetly as possible, and looked at Meghan whose nose will never fail to remind of a pig’s, and said,

“See you guys, Victoria likes my pants.” An innoculous enough statement to ward off any further insults and (thank god) leaving Victoria unscathed and free from the threat of becoming a target.

I would have had stronger friendships, been more confident in my appearence, and maybe, just maybe, it would have saved me from ever conforming to the unrealistic expectations of the girls in my high-school.

I wish I had learned. 

Potsdam Conference, part one

Potsdam Conference table “Operation Iceberg,” the invasion of Okinawa began on 1 April 1945 and would basically end on 22 June. Many are unaware that small skirmishes continued even after the 11th Airborne Division landed on that island. But … as we enter into July, others matters begin to develop. Harry S. Truman did not […]

Potsdam Conference, part one

Ways to talk to teens about mental health in the current technological landscape

ROANOKE, Va. (WDBJ) – Right here @ Dwelling tackled robust conversations about teenagers, psychological well being and sexual exploitation throughout…

Ways to talk to teens about mental health in the current technological landscape


I’m going to list three of my core beliefs and why they matter to me. Perhaps someone will relate to them or agree with me on some points.

Everyone should have the right to bodily autonomy.

Everyone deserves the right to govern their own bodies and make decisions for themselves. Everyone. Whether you identify as male, female, asexual, LGBTQ+ ect, it does not matter. The abortion issue frequently comes up when this is being discussed and while I have been rather hesitant only sharing a few of my viewpoints, I aim to address those in full, as I am in no way fearful of potential reprecussions.

I’m well-versed on the subject of abortion, I’m in the middle of writing a book on adoption and the issues within the system and unfortunately adoption goes hand-in-hand with abortion and affects nearly every sector of Child Protective Services and all of the programs that are designed to aid women and children. For starters, let’s stop assuming (well men need to stop assuming really) that women are irresponsible and should be held accountable for “spreading their legs,” when in reality most women who receive an abortion never thought in a million years that they would find themselves having to make such a heartbreaking decision.

Second, I’ll add some facts on how birth control was conceived (no pun intended). Birth control was formed by the Catholic church originally, and was designed to give women their periods and prevent the influx of children into the system that was occurring at the time. However, in order to keep he integrity of the church it had to be “natural,” so it was engineered to give women mencies every month, not only to assure that they couldn’t get pregnant while on the pill, but also to alert women that they were not pregnant. This leads me into why some women forgo the option to even take birth control.

When an egg is released, it punctures and leaves a hole in the uterine wall. This cell division has the potential to cause cauncer because that’s what cancer is on the molecular level. Cancer is caused when the cell divides. Women who are on birth control are more likely to develop all sorts of different kinds of cancer depending on the woman’s individual body type. Not to mention that birth control comes with some wicked side effects which is the reason a lot of women rely on the pull-out method or Plan B. Birth control methods like Mirana that requires your doctor to insert it, those are dangerous. They can be stuck into the uterine wall and can cause ectopic pregnancies (where the egg is fertilized and begins to grow outside of the uterus, which can cause hemorrhaging, and that can lead to death if not treated immediately).

New research has surfaced and doctors are claiming that more and more women are having these ectopic pregnancies and that’s very dangerous for those that are in states where abortion access is limited or banned entirely. This is why its extremely important that abortion access be legal and safe. Sexual promiscuity is NOT an excuse for taking away a woman’s right to choose. It shouldn’t matter what city council thinks (as is the case in Mason, Ohio), it shouldn’t matter what Sally in goddamn Nebraska thinks, and then men in these women’s lives should have no say either. That last point seems harsh, but women who are in happy and healthy relationships often confer with their partners anyways. The women who don’t are usually victims of rape or are in environments that they don’t feel comfortable raising children in. For all those conservatives that believe men should have a say when they are in a committed relationships, they already do. It’s rare circumstances that the mans opinion is not taken into consideration.

Comprehensive sexual education in schools.

Another one of my core beliefs, especially since I have a 3-year-old daughter, is fighting for comprehensive sexual education in school. No. I do NOT mean abstinence-based sexual eduation, that’s a load of bullshit. I want young men to be educated on a woman’s anatomy, taught about what constitutes as consent (including how to aquire it), and to be knowledgeable about pregnancy and what it does to women’s bodies along with the effects of menstruation.

Most men I encounter hardly know anything about these subjects. I have heard many a man proclaim that you cannot “rape your wife,” which is an absolutely absurd thing to say and is jarring to hear as a woman. I will tell my husband some of the experiences I have had as a young woman trying to navigate sex, love, and relationships and he looks at me as if I have multiple heads. He is the exception, not the rule. My husband isn’t a pig. It brings me great relief, however it concerns me because he believes that because he would never act like that, most other men will also not behave that way; I know better. I feel as if I am reminding him constantly that our daughter will eventually be a young woman, and if we don’t educate our young men now, I fear my daughter will also have these same awful experiences.

Comprehensive sexual education in schools will alleviate a lot of issues in our current society. If we taught every child equally whether they are young men or women we would all benefit greatly. I’ll use the menonites as an example of this because it’s one of the few societies where it’s an evident and palpable issue. Menonites aren’t taught about sex hardly at all, let alone the consequences of having unprotected sex. When young women decide that they no longer wish to be Menonite, they often find themselves in less than savory situations. Drug use and pregnancies out of wedlock being the most common. The reference I am using for this is a personal account from the television show Breaking Amish. You can argue the legitimacy of this all day but I also have background knowledge as I live in Ohio and my Aunt hires the Amish to do upgrades and maintenence on her farm home in Pennsylvania. Both PA and OH are areas that are largely inhabited by the Amish, hell the spices I use in the food I cook, are from the Amish haha. Abstinence-only programs have been proven time and time again to be ineffective against stopping premature sexual encounters. Second question, who REALLY wants to talk to their own kids about sex?

The power of positive thinking

My final core belief is to stay positive. The saying, “fake it until you make it” has some science behind it. It’s not the end all be all of solutions, no. You still have to put in the work to break the habits of rumination that you’ve conditioned yourself into. However, there are studies that show if you think positiveely enough, you will attract positivity to you. For example, have you ever worried about something happening (regardless of it being good or bad) so much it consumes your every thought, and then (much to your dismay) it happens? That’s the power your perception holds. Look at the things that happen to you as an opportunity to grow and learn and you wll be much better for it, and attract the things you desire in your life.

I’m retisent to comment on The Secret and the law of attraction because people take it far too literally. There is some merit to it, but to claim that it has the potential to change your life overnight is a massive lie. The effects of your positivity may take a long time to manifest themselves in reality, but give it effort and enough time and watch your life change for the better, approach any problem as if it were a new opportunity, a chance to learn, or engagee in something new. That’s the power of positivity.

What habits do you do daily that positively impact your quality of life?

Habits. It usually comes with a negative connotation, as if I habit is always bad. Not all habits are bad, but most all good habits have the potential to become negative.

I don’t think I have habits, I mean, I’m not immune to the age-old addage, “the road to hell is always paved with good intentions. I’m not unaware that neuroscientists repeat almost like an anthem, “neurons that wire together fire together,” and I am keenly aware that a study revealed how to foster a habit it and make sure it sticks; you have to do the activity, hobby, diet, exercise, or stop being a hermit (and thusly ignoring everyone and isolating herself in her apartment for two weeks because…DEPRESSION, fuckng duh haha) for 60 days in a row. I believe once you are passed 62 or 63 days specifically, the old neurons that once fired every time your wife asked you a question that sounded TOO much like something your mom would say to you, the neurons connected to that behvior will no longer fire, because you have either dealt with the underlying issues of how and why you immediately become angry with your mother, or (as is the case with almost every guy my age and is around me just enough for me to form a case study the moment he hits 25-years-old, and if he’s even older? The interviewee isn’t nearly as indoctrinated in the toxic and unrealistic expectations we have for young men when it comes to masculinity. I’d argue that these wiser more experienced men who prove the younger mans naivety and ignorance to be aginst the very nature of humans themselves.

Obviously, these men have “been there, done that,” and found that their tough-guy egos and endless amounts of pride (both of which I assumed the military just beat out of you like a Rambo movie, hoowever I could be just entirely making it up haha) only got them scolded by those who were above them in rank, discharged from the military entirely (either for desertion, rape, or disobeying a direct order as a subordinant.

These men claim that no amount of civilian re-integration will ever prepare them for what their fmilies will inevitably need from them emotionally, nor will it prepare them to start families and meet women. Me personally, I could only imagine what it would feel like, being taught that your emotions can put everyone in danger, and then 10 years later being expected to pretend as if you have never been interrogated by a forign government before and as if any bit of vulnerability puts not only the men he fought in combat with at risk, but also his family’s safety, depending on the circumstances, of course.

I bring this up because I don’t really look at anything I do as a habit, as it can be picked up and put down and never given a second thought. I have routines. Routines for getting my daughter into the bathtub, routines for the different types of moods she may wake up in, routines and distractions are my bread and butter, and I think those improve my (and everyone else in the house, apart from maybe my husband because he is perpetually miserable) quality of living quite a bit.

Being organized to me IS a quality of living increase. Just making your bed is immensely helpful when you are depressed and have anxiety, and that’s not even an opinion that’s a scientific fact haha. If one is depressed and they live in a depressing environment (I mean the floors aren’t clean, dirty dishes, and maybe you haven’t even bothered to change your sheets or shower in this manic depressive episode you’ve found yourself in for at least two weeks), in a dilapidating industry towns, no ability to buy a home and start a family, no retirement money, all while being too afraid to ask for help for fear of being labeled as “weak,” unable to take care of himself or his family, and most importantly, the biggest insult you can make to someone who fought so rigorously for this country; a freeloader, bum, and probably a drug addict (despite the fact that he’s most likely decorated) that’s always in need of something, despite having sacrificed much to his country and his citizens.

My answer in short, is that my habits that impact my quality of life, is how well we keep the systems that are in place currently adaptable, organized, and up to date. Always being adjusted for every possible contingency. It may not be good for me, necessarily in the long run, but my family will benefit and if there is a chance that anything would happen to me, this house, my husband, and mostly my daughters schedule, well, it would go on without me, and that’s all the “infamy” I wish to go down in.